Me: We need help.
Husband: I know, I know. Listen, I've been thinking about what is was like when we were dating and maybe I was bit more of a romantic back then...
Me: (wrinkles brow in confusion) Wait, no. Not "us". And yes, you were more romantic back then. I meant, we need help with baby.
Husband: Right, that's what I thought you were talking about.
We had had enough. Waking up every 2 hours for the past 3 months had finally taken it's toll and I was now willing to pay for some much needed baby sleep. I suppose the breaking point had been when my husband went on a business trip for a week. I was alone with baby, something I had done before and believe me, I give huge props to single moms. Yep, I can say with certainty that I couldn't do this alone. Husband was away, baby wasn't sleeping and I kind of, sort of had a little bit of an itsy bitsy breakdown. Ok, I had a big breakdown. By day three, I felt desperate, alone and completely at a loss for what to do. I mean, isn't sleep deprivation on a list of "things to do" to get a hoodlum to fess up to a crime? In fact, I would have admitted to a misdemeanor I didn't commit if it meant that I could shack up in jail for the night. I had no idea I depended so much on another set of hands to help (to her credit,my mom is usually here 24/7 in such situations but she was recovering from surgery; serious bad timing on our part). My husband, frantic that his wife was going to hide in a closet and not leave for the duration of his trip, called every woman in our family asking them for their support. I was totally embarrassed (hey, I might be willing to pay a complete stranger for help, but am a little more reluctant admitting total sleep failure/breakdown to my own fam) and knew that the time for serious sleep help (no more bum patting, sooooshing here!) had come. We decided to call a sleep coach. At this point, I was willing to dish out some cash for sleep. I kind of wish Russel Oliver would offer some sort of deal "I'm the sleep man...."
oh carolyn, i remember bursting out crying in the middle of the night last winter when jay was gone for the better part of february. it does get better, but the being on your own part is really hard!
ReplyDeleteI love how you write, very Kaz Cooke. You MUST keep these and turn them into a book! If this has put you off number two there is hope. Not that I am making any promises, even from a safe distance in NZ but Oskar does big plops all over Ammas sleep record! xo Shona
ReplyDeleteThanks Shona! Dare I say I want three??
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